Thursday, 27 August 2015

Ahem!

What can I say? I've been an awful blogger for the longest time...

How is everybody??

So much has been going on. I've missed so much in Blogsville it's ridiculous. I'm sorry for being just as a bad reader as I've been a blogger.

Well, as I've been away for so long (so much for fourteen posts this year. LOL! Smh.), I thought it'd be a good thing to start with a juicy post.

Online Dating...

I have been online dating on and off now for over two years. The first place I graced was E-Harmony. It was awful and very off putting. You take forever to complete your profile because they want your whole life history, then they send you matches. And then you and your matches just stare at each other. Not a single fella messaged me. Smh. So I gave it a couple months then deactivated my account.

Then I moved on to Plenty of Fish. Where I made some new friends (dates that didn't work out, but a couple of dudes were actually really cool, so we stayed friends). But Plenty of Fish provided the most entertaining dates. I will endeavour to make an anecdotal post on some of my dating stories and favourite quotes (already laughing out loud at you reading and laughing out loud. Lol!). 

As I got no real love from Plenty of Fish, I moved on to Christian Connections. Probably the worst of the lot. One thing I will say about Plenty of Fish is, maaan! your confidence level goes through the roof! Come and see messages, galore (hehehe). Well, Christian Connections brought you crashing back to earth. Trust me! "Godly" men that wanted nothing less than Jesus in a skirt. The men on there will make you re-evaluate your faith and your status in life. Chai!! I don't recommend at all! Loool!

I had lots of breaks from the whole scene, but always went back. Then I discovered Tinder! Oh my goodness. If Christian Connections brought you crashing back to earth, Tinder raised your hopes a bit, then tossed you against the wall!! I really liked the concept though, because only if you mutually liked someone could you communicate with them. And me being a lady, would wait for the guy to send the first message. Well, waiting on there was like watching paint dry. And there was that one time that I decided to take the bull by the horns and send the first message. Guess what happened? The guy blocked me (***bows head and covers face in shame***). So I decided, NEVER AGAIN!! 

So I continued to just "face me, I face you" on Tinder for a while. Then I heard about Christian Mingle. I thought I'd give it a go. Well, it was marginally better than Christian Connections. But only marginally. The guys on there wanted nothing but perfection in a woman, both inside and out. And (not trying to be rude), but I doubted they were able to offer all they wanted themselves. Mstchew.

Then a friend told me to try OkCupid. Although it's not ideal, because anyone, anywhere in the world can message you, I have to say it's probably the best site I've been on. I've been on a few dates from OkCupid with "normal", "regular" guys. And even those that didn't progress to the first date stage, still provided great conversation.

One thing I have learned from online dating though, is that there are a lot of lonely men (can't speak for women) out there. Men who have no real interest in meeting face to face, but just want someone to talk to. After a while, I had to set a limit - if the guy didn't ask for my number within a week, and take the conversation offline, then , I had to cut ties. 

I feel as if I've been on fifty first dates! Seriously. Lol. I have to say though, it has been fun. I've learned a lot about myself. But what started off with me always trying to put my best foot forward, ended with me toning things down a lot and listening twice as much as I spoke (valuable lessons!). I even have a standard first date uniform. This was necessary because I got fed up of taking so long to decide what I was going to wear, only to walk in on my date and realise within fifteen minutes (or less) that "this" was going no where.

My Standard First Date Uniform

But if you or someone you know wants to give online dating a go, any one of these site is a good place to start (except E-Harmony! That entry exam is no joke! LOL!). So please don't be too discouraged. I've heard of people really finding love online. A consultant I went to see about an ongoing health issue even told me she met her husband on-line. So I guess it's possible. But I'm getting to the point of permanently shelfing it. Everything isn't for everyone. However, there's that little voice in my head that keeps saying "try again", that makes me want to try just "one more time". Lol.

Watch this space people. Watch this place.

Blog you again (soon, I hope)!

Buki
xox

(Disclaimer: All pictures used were taken by, edited by and belong to bukibelle.com)

Thursday, 22 January 2015

Hello 2015

Well hello there.

And a Happy New Year One and All!

I hope the start of 2015 has been a positive re-start and reboot for you! May this year be good to you.

I have been writing my list of goals and one of them (as it was last year) is to blog more. I know what you're thinking, and I don't blame you. Lol. But although I didn't blog as much as I intended to last year, I still did better than the previous year. Lol. Slow progress is better than no progress right? Right.

Well, here is a video/slideshow of what some of 2014 looked like for me.

video
 
 
 
2014 was an interesting year. I think what I gained the most was knowing myself better than before. Becoming more and more comfortable in my own skin. Believing in myself that little bit more. Forgiving myself more for my shortcomings. And beginning to take myself more seriously. the latter is the thing I struggle with the most. So to get to a place where I am taking me seriously is a big deal. So I'd say 2014 was progressive for me.
 
Looking forward to what 2015 has in store. I pray it'll be good to me. And I pray it'll be good to you too.
 
Thank you so much for your continued support guys. I appreciate you all so much. Thank you for baring with me. Thank you for your patience. I hope to blog more and keep your interest more in 2015. In 2013 I posted just three posts, in 2014 I posted seven posts, I'm aiming for at least fourteen posts in 2015. I can do this!!
 
Well, that's it for this post. Until next time.
 
Stay optimistic about the future. I am.
 
Buki xox


Tuesday, 14 October 2014

Do You Remember Your First Love???

Hello Folks,

How have you all been? Good I trust.

I've had a very busy summer, and I've not had much time for blogging. Trying to get back into it I went through my numerous post drafts tonight. I came across the post below, which for some reason I never published. I wrote it at a stubborn time in my life. Please note this post was written about eighteen to twenty-four months ago. I want to reassure you that I am firmly back on the market and very much optimistic about meeting someone new. But I've got to tell you, this post made me laugh. Especially the stories of my early loves. Lol! I've chosen not to edit a single word in it (including the title and the shout outs), so you get to read it exactly as you would have had I posted it at the time. 

I hope you enjoy this flashback!

"Hello People!!!

I feel like I've been away forever!!! Lol. But you've always been close to my thoughts. Promise.

How goes it? I trust you're all well. Shout out to Unveilinggold, Toinlicious and mstizzle! xxx

And a huge thank you to everyone that passes by this blog. Thanks for reading, visiting, following or just passing by. Much love to you!

So, on to this blog post. This post is soooo random. Please excuse the randomness. Just needed to put my thoughts down. 

So it's been over a year now since I got married (the divorce is eminent but still pending). Remember I said there would be the palava with his and my parents for us to perhaps hash things out? Well that never happened. In fact I've not heard from anyone in his family for a long time. The guy is such a liar, I wouldn't be surprised if he's told all sorts of lies about me to anyone who would listen. I remember I had to tell him to stop talking bad about his ex-wife to people when we first met, so I really wouldn't be surprised.

I feel somewhat disillusioned. Life is not what I thought it would be. My thirties are not (not so far anyways) as fun and exciting as I had at one point anticipated. I feel so let down by myself. I was speaking to some friends this evening and one of them told me they feel like they're always fighting with me to get me to come out. So it seems I've become some sort of recluse. As a general rule, I tend to only go out to celebrate the birthdays of my nearest and dearest and that is it. Hmmmph! When did this happen???

I remember when all I wanted to do was go out (I'm talking just a year ago). Now unless it's essential (i.e. someone will be offended at my not attending) I just don't go and I'm ok with that.

I've been asked, don't you want to meet someone new? Ummmm, NO! I'm ok. I've been let down enough by men. I wanna ride solo for now. Then I've got the friends who are seriously worried about me. A time when it seems so crucial for a woman to be on the market I've chosen to sit on the shelf and be content with it. What to do, what to do? My mother is sad and frustrated with me. But this is where I am for now.

In the mean while, I'm happy just hearing other people's dating stories, and I find myself getting excited for them. Someone I know is engaging in a brand new relationship. Oh remember when everything was brand new? The butterflies, the smile when your phone bleeps cos you know it's a text from him. Oh the days.

So I started to think about the very first time I had that feeling. His name was Yomi, I was 11/12 and he was 13/14. He was the tallest and most handsome boy in the church. Back then we had no phones except the house phone and I wouldn't dare give my house number to a boy. unless I was ready to be annihilated by my parents. Hahaha! We only saw each other on Sundays. So that was when I got my butterflies. On the way to church my stomach would be in knots. Every road bump the car went over made me feel sick to the stomach. When I'd see him the butterflies would go crazy. And when he noticed me and smiled at me I felt dizzy with excitement. Mehn! What ever happened to love's young dream??? When and how did it die?? (that's a rhetorical question - I know when and how.Lol).

Then there was Tevin Campbell. Hahaha! I remember the year I got a walkman for my birthday. I think it was my twelfth birthday. I saved my pocket money to buy a tape. Went to the record shop and had a listen to a few tracks on Tevin's album and decided that was it! I bought it and immediately started fantasising of the day he and I would meet. The day we would pass each other in the street and he would be struck by my beauty and fall madly in love with me (I was already madly in love with him). Then he'd sweep me off my feet and we'd get married and live happily ever after. By the way all this happened while I was still twelve! LOL! Oh blessed youth, where did you go???

Who else was there? Oh yeah, I remember all the could have beens that I now wonder whatever happened to them. There was this sweet guy I met while I was working in retail. Unfortunately I was in a relationship so couldn't return his interest. He was such a gentleman. His name was Aqua. He was Ghanaian. He used to walk me to the bus stop after our late shift and wait with me for my bus, then cross over to get his own bus in the opposite direction. Oh Mehn!!!

There's been a few good ones. But I gave my time and my best (at that time) to the bad ones. I didn't realise How sweet Aqua was until much, much, much later. So it's that same old saying "we only seem to like the bad boys". Lol. I didn't realise how much Yomi really liked me until much, much later too. I broke things off with Yomi because I felt we were getting too serious. We'd started to hold hands when we were out of our parents' sights. The thought of my parents catching us terrified me more than the excitement I felt when he smiled at me. I wrote him a letter and sent my brother to give it to him. I watched him from afar as he took the letter. He had a huge smile on his face (I guess he thought it was a love letter) then the smile dropped and he looked up at me an ripped up the letter. tears were rolling down my face when I heard my mum's voice break into the atmosphere with *"Bukola!!! Kilode t' on sukun???" (*Bukola, why are you crying?) I jumped! Hahahaha! I said "Oh mummy, I have a headache." She took me to the front of the church for prayer! Hahahahahahahaha!

Right now I'm seriously crushing on Idris Elba! He's the only guy I see! Lolol. My sister is concerned because I think she thinks it's unhealthy for a woman of my age. I should be putting myself out there so the correct one can at least see me. Well, I'm not ready. Abeg just leave me with my fantasies for now jare."

Hope you found it as amusing as I did tonight. Lol!

Until next time!

Mwah!

Buki.


Saturday, 5 July 2014

Tuna and Avocado

Good afternoon folks!
 
Hope you're enjoying your weekend.
 
For those who asked, I managed to find out the name of the nail varnish in my previous post. It's call Eternal Optimist by Essie. ;)
 
I made an accidental discovery and thought I would share it. What had happened was...
 
Usually on Saturday's when my son is at home, I make a full English breakfast. He really looks forward to it. Bless. Last Saturday however, I just didn't fancy cooking anything. Plus we both had places to get to. So I whipped out leftover tuna mix from the fridge. Added avocado and toast to the mix and, hey presto! Breakfast was served.
 
 
Lami enjoyed the cold tuna in his toasted sandwich, whilst I had mine on top of my toast.
 
Ingredients:
 
1 Onion
Mushrooms (optional)
1/2 a bell pepper (I used the orange one, but you can also use the red or yellow one)
Tuna (2 tins)
Tomato and Basil sauce
1 tablespoon of Olive Oil
Season with salt, garlic pepper, 1 maggi cube
Avocado
Bread (toasted)
 
Chop the onions, mushrooms and bell pepper. Heat up one tablespoon of olive oil in a pan. Add the chopped vegetables and tuna to pan. Add all seasonings. Add the tomato and basil sauce (I used Loyd Grossman's Tomato and Basil sauce). Mix everything well in. Allow to cook together for ten minutes.
 
 
 
When I originally cooked this mix we had it with pasta. I put the leftover mix in the fridge. To add to the leftover mix I simply did the following:
 
Chop the avocado into big(ish) chunks. Sprinkle a little salt and pepper on top of the avocado.
 
Toast the bread. Spread the spread of your choice - I use olive spread.
 
Serve leftover tuna mix with toast and avocado slices/chunks.
 
Et voila!
 
 
Yummm!
 
Hope you give this a go. If you do, let me know how it turned out.
 
Have a great weekend! Hope it's sunny where you are!
 
Buki
xox
 
(Disclaimer: All pictures used were taken by, edited by and belong to bukibelle.com)


Monday, 30 June 2014

A New Direction

Hello Folks,
How goes things with you all? I hope it's all good!
Just thought I'd breeze through and put up a quick post. I'm thinking of doing more things like outfit posts, hair and beauty products, food, and even decor/house and home products and improvements. I will still post my thoughts and such as and when I feel the need to, but would like to include more variety. I hope you enjoy the new direction I've decided to take, and that you'll continue the journey with me.
That said, I attended a ladies networking event on Saturday in support of a friend who is a makeup artist. There was a lot to see (and buy) in a small space. The event could have done with a much bigger venue to be honest. It was packed full of very creative women who make their own products. From natural hair products, soya wax candles, to African print soft furnishings. I took a lot of leaflets and business cards, and will hopefully explore each exhibitor at some point. This is what I wore.




I got my nails done while I was there too! Unfortunately I forgot to take a note of the name of this colour, but it's by a brand called Essie. This colour is called Eternal Optimist by Essie. Although Essie has great colours, I find they don't last without a good top coat. My favourite top coat has to be by Barry M. Barry M varnishes last five days easily!



What did you get up this weekend? Whatever it was, hope you enjoyed yourselves!
Until the next post, stay blessed. Have a great week ahead.
Buki.
xox

(Disclaimer: All pictures used were taken by, edited by and belong to bukibelle.com)

Thursday, 22 May 2014

Don't Worry

Hi Folks!!

I hope you're all doing great. My UK people, hope you've been enjoying the lovely weather! We all know how temperamental it is over here, so we've got grab it when we can!

I know I'm a very inconsistent blogger. There are many reasons for this. One of them is I have periods of feeling down and I don't want to bring all that negativity here too often. A colleague who has recently discovered my blog was commenting on what she'd seen so far. We had a little chat about my inconsistency. She encouraged me to just be free. She sited a few blogs she follows where she's seen bloggers blog their ebbs and flows of life. I won't always feel negative and things will eventually work out. So, with that said, here's my current state of mind. 

Sometimes I worry. I worry that this is all there is to my life. I worry that my boy will grow up, leave home and I'll be an old spinster (really, real thoughts). All alone with no companion apart from my son's wife and kids (and extended family of course - see how crazy these thoughts are? I'm alone, but not alone - but you get my drift right? I hope you do. Lol).
Sometimes I worry that I am actually not that bright. Things happen and I do silly things and think "woah! That was dumb!". Hey, don't mock me, I'm just being real.
Sometimes I worry that I'm stuck and this is my lot. No more, no less. Just this. Obviously these kinds of thoughts can bring a person down.

I stray away from God every now and then for one reason or other. But a re-occurring reason is because I just don't think I'm worth the bother. I failed Him so many times (and in the same areas, over and over again). So I tell myself there are others more worthy of His time. (These are real thoughts!!! Mind your thoughts people!!!) Of course that is a LIE!

Well, tonight in the midst of my worry I turned to Him. Decided not to wait for Sunday to hear from Him. Decided not to wait until Pastor preaches the right word into my situation. I looked to Him (from whence cometh my help. right?). I picked up my smart phone, opened up my Bible App and typed in "worry" in the search bar. Fifty-four scriptures popped up. I'm guessing He knew we'd be doing a heck of a lot of worrying.

Well, my scripture of choice, or rather the one that caught my attention was/is:

Luke 12:24-28
(24) Look at the ravens. They don't plant or harvest or store food in barns, for God feeds them. And you are far more valuable to him than any birds! (25) Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? (26) And if worry can't accomplish a little thing like that, what's the use of worrying over bigger things? (27) Look at the lilies and how they grow. They don't work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. (28) And if God cares so wonderfully for flowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?

So with that said, if you're like me, stop worrying. Leave it in God's care and get on with living in the now. Enjoy your life and stop worrying. (This is also a note to self!).

So there, I just shared another ebb. The next post has to be a flow ;)

Enjoy the rest of your week!

Buki xox