Monday, 16 November 2015

How Do You See Yourself?

When you look in the mirror, what do you see?
Do you take yourself seriously?
(Ahhh, that rhymes!)

But seriously? Do you?

At the tender age of 30 (ahem), sometimes I still feel like a teenage girl. Like I've not really grown up. Not that I've not grown up, but that I don't see a grown woman looking back at me. I see this young girl still trying to grow into her own skin. When do you actually start to feel grown up?

And the worst thing is seeing all these young girls in their mid-twenties that really seem to have it all figured out. What is wrong with me? Lol.

I know and appreciate the expression "you're only as old as you feel", but I want to feel my age. I want to feel grown. When does that feeling kick in?

Is it tied into accomplishments? Academic accolades? Acquisition of big priced products (like owning your own home or buying your dream car)? Or achieving major career goals? If that's the case I should feel halfway there right? Having a couple of those things under my belt. But I just don't feel like I'm there.

And then there's the issue of taking myself seriously. Like really believing in myself, even if no one else does. Please tell I'm not the only one who feels like this, at least some of the time. Is this linked to low self-esteem? Hmmmm.

Ok, if that's the case, I need ideas in bringing my self-esteem up. Where do I start? I want to feel strong from the inside out. It's all well and good looking well put together on the outside, but it's what's on the inside that counts me thinks.

I think it's time to read a few self-help books. Any recommendations? Your help is very much appreciated.

Do have an awesome week!

Buki x

Sunday, 1 November 2015

Hello November

Well hello to one of my favourite months of the year, simply because it's my birth month!

I pray November is good to us all. I have to say October was a really tough month for me. I struggled and struggled through. So much so that on the 29th of October I kept saying to myself "we made it!". Seriously, several times through the day I caught myself saying that.

With the kids return to school in September and all the expenses that come with that, not to mention due payments for major school trips in both September and October, I had to forgo a lot of luxuries. By the time mid October hit, I knew it was going to be one of those months where there's more month left at the end of the money.

Finances aside, I had to search my soul about a few other things too. I think October brought me up a bit. I learned a few lessons in self-acceptance and self-respect. One such lesson is to let God find me my mate. I'm tired of the so-called "search". And if I don't get "presented" to the one, will it be so bad? I mean, there's a lot I can do and enjoy on my own jare.

Being a single mum has got to be one of the hardest things in the world. You have no one to turn to. Even if you have a great support system, how many times can I cry to them that this thing is hard. I am someone that finds it extremely hard to ask for help (I am working on it o), so for me to turn around and ask for help, I don't take "no" very lightly. Simply because it took a lot to ask in the first place. Well, in August I found myself turning for help from someone who should have been ready at a moment's notice. I won't embarrass them by saying exactly who it was, but he didn't even afford me the pleasure of a response. I didn't want to go crying to my daddy so I cried to my Daddy (God) about it.

Things got harder and harder. Money needed left right and centre for one course or the other. It was getting too much sef. I found myself asking God if He even heard me?? Like, what the heck is all this??

Well, the last week in October, just before I truly snapped, He sent help In the form of good friends that just wanted to bless me. Two of my good friends decided to do a big shop for me. Come and see 4 litre bottle of oil, bags of rice galore, pasta repete, boxed juices, snacks, tinned tomatoes, frozen foods, chicken, beef mince. You name it, I think they bought it. (God bless you girls! xoxox).

I then called the Child Support Agency with a few questions, not expecting much more than simple answers. They said I am due arrears, some I'm already aware of, but there's even more than that on top. God is not asleep!

Then today at church, the Pastor slipped me an envelope. He said "this was waiting for you in the office this week". I said thank you sir, took it and ran off to join the choir. I decided I would open it when I got home. When I opened it guess what was in it? Yep, you guessed it. Money! God is not asleep! He will send help!

So, now November is upon us and I am expectant. I'm expecting good things. And I want to be a blessing too. Not every time receiver of blessing. Abi?

May God grant us all a fruitful November!

Have a blessed week (and month!) ahead peeps.

Buki. xox

Saturday, 17 October 2015

Dreaming of Travelling

Hello guys! How are you? Great I hope!

I'm at work today (it's Saturday!). I'm here at work and all I can think about is going to Paris. I would seriously like to travel more. Much, much more than I do. I actually thoroughly enjoy all the "stress" that comes with it. The packing. The not sleeping the night before because "I'll catch up on my sleep on the plane." The arrival at the airport. The checking in. The boarding the plane - where I always place my hand on the door frame and say a quick "blood of Jesus on this plane", before I step inside. Lol! The finding my seat (hopefully window seat - it's the best!). Sitting down and looking at the airport one last time before they make you pull the shades down. Why do they do that? Then the take off! Ahhhhh. Looking through the window and seeing London (or wherever I'm travelling from) get smaller and smaller. Then another quick prayer. Then I relax and enjoy the flight. Bliss.

I know it's a bit weird. Lol. I don't actually know anyone (apart from my son) that enjoys the whole airport/plane/airport experience like I do. Anyone out there? Holla! Lol. Honestly, I used to be terrified of flying. Hmmmm, maybe not terrified (that's a bit of an exaggeration), but I used to be scared. Then one day I had to travel alone with my son. And I refuse to pass on fears on to him (including fear of creepy crawlies - having a child cured this fears quick!). The first time we travelled alone together he was 7. I was terrified that time, but I had to calm my nerves. I didn't want him to "catch the fear". He enjoyed his flight. He enjoyed looking out of the window and he was amazed by the diminishing earth. Then I thought "hmmm, I'm going to try and enjoy this too". And that was that. Two lovers of flying were born that day. As long as we are covered by the blood of Jesus, we can fly in peace.

So here I am at work on a Saturday and I'm planning a solo trip to Paris. Think I want to go for a week. I also need to learn French on a very serious note. Been meaning to for years. Since secondary school in fact. And I will! I must and I will one day!
Enjoy your weekend!

Blog you again soon.

Buki. xox

Wednesday, 30 September 2015

Sweet Potato and Minced Turkey

Well hello there!
I'm back again so soon. This is becoming a good habit ;)
Hope you're all good.
I want to thank you all for sticking with me through thick and thin (post and no post)! You are awesome!!!
Well, one of my roles as mum includes chef. Cooking is something I find quite therapeutic. Here is a recipe a colleague share with me. Well, my own version of it. You see, I don't tend to stick strictly to recipes. I tend to use whatever I already have in my fridge and cupboards. Things usually turn out fine. And if not, then next time I try and stick closer to the recipe. :D
So here's the recipe.
You will need:
Minced Turkey (or beef, or lamb, whatever you prefer) - 500g
Medium sized onion - 1
Medium to large sweet potatoes - 4
Vegetable oil - 1 table spoon
Butter - 62g (or a quarter of a 250g block)
Mature cheddar cheese (or any cheese of your choosing) - 75g
Seasoning (of your own choosing, but I used salt, garlic pepper, dried parsley, curry powder, chicken stock)
Put the oil in the pan (or pot). Chop the onion and add to oil. Wash and add minced turkey to pot. Season as required, stir everything together and leave to cook. Stir periodically. Should cook in 20 minutes. About 5 minutes before turning the stove off, add the broccoli and mix it altogether.
Skin, chop and wash the sweet potatoes. Place in a pot, add water a little salt and a teaspoon of butter. Leave to boil and well soften (but not too soft). Should cook in about 20 minutes. Once boiled, add the butter (chop the butte into cubes and spread around the post. Mash the potatoes with a potato masher.
Pre-heat the oven at 220degrees. Place the mince in a baking dish. Place the mashed sweet potato on top of the mince. Sprinkle the cheese on top of the mashed potato. Place the dish in the oven and let it cook for a further 20 minutes, or until the top turns golden crispy.

Once cooked, let the dish sit for a few minutes. Then serve. A simple meal that takes about 50 minutes (including preparation time).
**One amendment I would make is to let the mince dry out as much as possible so there's no water when I dish it out!
My son enjoyed this dish very much. Hope you do too.
Blog you again soon!
(Disclaimer: All pictures used were taken by, edited by and belong to

Thursday, 24 September 2015

The One That Went Ghost

Woah! I'm back so soon! Whoop!
How's it going with you all? Great I hope.
One of my dating stories right here! Lol.
So, I'd been seeing this guy for the past five months. We seemed to be getting on great. We met online (OkCupid). Our conversations in the beginning were amazing. He came across as the most amazing person. He seemed so into me. In the beginning he would message me on WhatsApp every morning and would call me a couple times during the day. It was so much so that I had to ask, "how comes you call so often?". He replied, "because I don't want to give anyone else a chance to get in there.". Which naturally left me grinning from ear to ear (sucker! Lol).
Our first date was in a quaint little coffee shop. We met up at a nearby station. We'd been talking throughout the day, anxiously anticipating meeting each other. For this date, I didn't wear my standard first date uniform because I already knew I really liked this one. Whatever happened on the first date, he had shown enough promise to deserve a little effort. As we were meeting after work I didn't dress up too much so as to not attract too much attention from my colleagues. Lol. I wore a navy blue fitted, knee-length dress with a pair of black Zara heels and my navy blue waterfall coat (both heels and coat as pictured in my previous post).
I got to our meeting point first and called to check his ETA. Thankfully, he was just around the corner. I looked around frantically to see if I could spot him before he spotted me. He came up from behind me, but just before he reached me I turned around and we stood staring at each other. He was smiling. And he was very well dressed. A navy blue light bomber jacket (talk about matching!), a black and white stripy top, jeans and navy blue brogues. Good dress sense, check! We said an awkward hello and he awkwardly hugged me. It was raining and he hadn't made any real plans (first red flag, but I missed that). We walked huddled under my umbrella to the first open coffee shop we could find. It was a really sweet little one on a corner.
We chatted for a good hour and a half whilst sipping hot chocolate (for me) and tea (for him). At this point, the date was just like any other ok date. Nothing spectacular. But there was something there. After the date as we walked back to our meeting point he'd become extremely comfortable around me. He draped his long arm around my shoulder. I kind of didn't know what to make of his move. Lol. Anyway, the date ended well. he asked when could he see me again, and I said we'll talk I guess. And that was that.
After our first date, he said and did all the right things. Continued to message and call regularly. Even took me out to lunch if I was too busy to see him at any other time during the week.
Now, we had some issues, and a major one for me was that he wasn't a Christian. Once I found that out, I told him I had to stop seeing him. He pleaded (yes, pleaded) with me not to be an "enemy of progress". That I should give him a chance to consider his faith. I don't know why I let him convince me, but I listened and continued to see him. I kept inviting him to church. Each time he would accept my invitation, then the day before, give an excuse. I recorded that in my mind that he just wasn't interested, so tried not to get too attached to him. I did however, continue to see him.
He met my son ( I introduced him as a friend, but my son, being the smarty pants he is, asked if we were dating) and some of my family and friends. He has two kids, I didn't get to meet them because of some drama with his ex (so he told me). But I did meet quite a few of his siblings and some of his friends. This is the furthest I've ever gotten since I started dating. Lol.
Anyways, he's currently studying for a second degree, so at times he had his head down writing papers and studying for exams. Progressive man, check!
Now an issue (other than the faith thing) had sprung quite early on, but I overlooked it initially. But this issue arose  again a few weeks ago. I was eagerly awaiting his exams to be over so that I could bring this, and some other issues up for discussion. Here I was, waiting, waiting, patiently waiting. Then I realised the messages had dwindled over the past few weeks. I put it down to exams. Then the calls started to die out too.  It concerned me a bit, but again I put it down to exams.
The last time I spoke to him was a couple of Saturdays ago. He called me in the morning, but I was busy so I couldn't speak for long. I told him as much and said I would call him back later. I wasn't able to call him back until late in the evening. I called and called. No answer. I sent messages telling him I'm trying to reach him. No reply. The following day, after church I called again. No answer. Then I thought, hold on, he didn't even call me back from the missed calls from last night. Hmmm.
Sunday evening, I called again. No answer. Monday, still no call back and no response to my messages. Hmmm.
I called one more time, then I left him a sharp message and decided to leave it at that.
Tuesday. Nothing. Hmmm.
My friend at work was very concerned because she'd become accustomed to my phone constantly going off. And it had been silent for a couple of days, which had now become unusual for me. She asked what's up and I told her. She said something might have happened to him. Perhaps I should pay him a visit. So she got me worried. But in my heart I knew the dude had gone ghost.
Wednesday I called him repeatedly. No response. I checked his whatsapp to see when he was last online (for the thousandth time), he hadn't been online since Saturday evening. By now his exams had been over a week ago. My friend suggested I reach out to his sister on Facebook, just to be certain he was ok before I moved on. I entertained her and sent a message to his sister to ask if he was ok, that I couldn't reach  him, and I'd become worried.
Thursday evening, he sent me a voicemail. I studied his voice. He sounded fine, but like he was trying to sound unwell. Lol. He didn't really say anything except "we'll talk.". Then he sent me a whatsapp message saying he can't really talk right now, we'll talk when he's strong enough. Hmmm ok. I asked what happened to him. No response. He then sent me a text message and I quote "You don't have to be aggressive... I know you care, but you don't have a clue what am going tru ok.". Aggressive?! Because I called and messaged you asking if you're ok? Ok o.
That was my cue to stop all communication. I didn't respond to his text. And many days went by before he reached out to me again. When he called I just couldn't bring myself to answer his call. Besides, I was busy cooking dinner. Lol.
 I'm pretty sure the only reason he sent me a voicemail and those messages was because his sister had a word with him. Dude was locking me off, just like that. No argument, no conversation, nothing. Just like that. Ahhh well.
You win some, you lose some. On to the next.
Blog you again soon! (If I keep this up, I might regain my credibility as a blogger. Hehehe)

Thursday, 27 August 2015


What can I say? I've been an awful blogger for the longest time...

How is everybody??

So much has been going on. I've missed so much in Blogsville it's ridiculous. I'm sorry for being just as a bad reader as I've been a blogger.

Well, as I've been away for so long (so much for fourteen posts this year. LOL! Smh.), I thought it'd be a good thing to start with a juicy post.

Online Dating...

I have been online dating on and off now for over two years. The first place I graced was E-Harmony. It was awful and very off putting. You take forever to complete your profile because they want your whole life history, then they send you matches. And then you and your matches just stare at each other. Not a single fella messaged me. Smh. So I gave it a couple months then deactivated my account.

Then I moved on to Plenty of Fish. Where I made some new friends (dates that didn't work out, but a couple of dudes were actually really cool, so we stayed friends). But Plenty of Fish provided the most entertaining dates. I will endeavour to make an anecdotal post on some of my dating stories and favourite quotes (already laughing out loud at you reading and laughing out loud. Lol!). 

As I got no real love from Plenty of Fish, I moved on to Christian Connections. Probably the worst of the lot. One thing I will say about Plenty of Fish is, maaan! your confidence level goes through the roof! Come and see messages, galore (hehehe). Well, Christian Connections brought you crashing back to earth. Trust me! "Godly" men that wanted nothing less than Jesus in a skirt. The men on there will make you re-evaluate your faith and your status in life. Chai!! I don't recommend at all! Loool!

I had lots of breaks from the whole scene, but always went back. Then I discovered Tinder! Oh my goodness. If Christian Connections brought you crashing back to earth, Tinder raised your hopes a bit, then tossed you against the wall!! I really liked the concept though, because only if you mutually liked someone could you communicate with them. And me being a lady, would wait for the guy to send the first message. Well, waiting on there was like watching paint dry. And there was that one time that I decided to take the bull by the horns and send the first message. Guess what happened? The guy blocked me (***bows head and covers face in shame***). So I decided, NEVER AGAIN!! 

So I continued to just "face me, I face you" on Tinder for a while. Then I heard about Christian Mingle. I thought I'd give it a go. Well, it was marginally better than Christian Connections. But only marginally. The guys on there wanted nothing but perfection in a woman, both inside and out. And (not trying to be rude), but I doubted they were able to offer all they wanted themselves. Mstchew.

Then a friend told me to try OkCupid. Although it's not ideal, because anyone, anywhere in the world can message you, I have to say it's probably the best site I've been on. I've been on a few dates from OkCupid with "normal", "regular" guys. And even those that didn't progress to the first date stage, still provided great conversation.

One thing I have learned from online dating though, is that there are a lot of lonely men (can't speak for women) out there. Men who have no real interest in meeting face to face, but just want someone to talk to. After a while, I had to set a limit - if the guy didn't ask for my number within a week, and take the conversation offline, then , I had to cut ties. 

I feel as if I've been on fifty first dates! Seriously. Lol. I have to say though, it has been fun. I've learned a lot about myself. But what started off with me always trying to put my best foot forward, ended with me toning things down a lot and listening twice as much as I spoke (valuable lessons!). I even have a standard first date uniform. This was necessary because I got fed up of taking so long to decide what I was going to wear, only to walk in on my date and realise within fifteen minutes (or less) that "this" was going no where.

My Standard First Date Uniform

But if you or someone you know wants to give online dating a go, any one of these site is a good place to start (except E-Harmony! That entry exam is no joke! LOL!). So please don't be too discouraged. I've heard of people really finding love online. A consultant I went to see about an ongoing health issue even told me she met her husband on-line. So I guess it's possible. But I'm getting to the point of permanently shelfing it. Everything isn't for everyone. However, there's that little voice in my head that keeps saying "try again", that makes me want to try just "one more time". Lol.

Watch this space people. Watch this place.

Blog you again (soon, I hope)!


(Disclaimer: All pictures used were taken by, edited by and belong to