Thursday, 24 September 2015

The One That Went Ghost

Woah! I'm back so soon! Whoop!
How's it going with you all? Great I hope.
One of my dating stories right here! Lol.
So, I'd been seeing this guy for the past five months. We seemed to be getting on great. We met online (OkCupid). Our conversations in the beginning were amazing. He came across as the most amazing person. He seemed so into me. In the beginning he would message me on WhatsApp every morning and would call me a couple times during the day. It was so much so that I had to ask, "how comes you call so often?". He replied, "because I don't want to give anyone else a chance to get in there.". Which naturally left me grinning from ear to ear (sucker! Lol).
Our first date was in a quaint little coffee shop. We met up at a nearby station. We'd been talking throughout the day, anxiously anticipating meeting each other. For this date, I didn't wear my standard first date uniform because I already knew I really liked this one. Whatever happened on the first date, he had shown enough promise to deserve a little effort. As we were meeting after work I didn't dress up too much so as to not attract too much attention from my colleagues. Lol. I wore a navy blue fitted, knee-length dress with a pair of black Zara heels and my navy blue waterfall coat (both heels and coat as pictured in my previous post).
I got to our meeting point first and called to check his ETA. Thankfully, he was just around the corner. I looked around frantically to see if I could spot him before he spotted me. He came up from behind me, but just before he reached me I turned around and we stood staring at each other. He was smiling. And he was very well dressed. A navy blue light bomber jacket (talk about matching!), a black and white stripy top, jeans and navy blue brogues. Good dress sense, check! We said an awkward hello and he awkwardly hugged me. It was raining and he hadn't made any real plans (first red flag, but I missed that). We walked huddled under my umbrella to the first open coffee shop we could find. It was a really sweet little one on a corner.
We chatted for a good hour and a half whilst sipping hot chocolate (for me) and tea (for him). At this point, the date was just like any other ok date. Nothing spectacular. But there was something there. After the date as we walked back to our meeting point he'd become extremely comfortable around me. He draped his long arm around my shoulder. I kind of didn't know what to make of his move. Lol. Anyway, the date ended well. he asked when could he see me again, and I said we'll talk I guess. And that was that.
After our first date, he said and did all the right things. Continued to message and call regularly. Even took me out to lunch if I was too busy to see him at any other time during the week.
Now, we had some issues, and a major one for me was that he wasn't a Christian. Once I found that out, I told him I had to stop seeing him. He pleaded (yes, pleaded) with me not to be an "enemy of progress". That I should give him a chance to consider his faith. I don't know why I let him convince me, but I listened and continued to see him. I kept inviting him to church. Each time he would accept my invitation, then the day before, give an excuse. I recorded that in my mind that he just wasn't interested, so tried not to get too attached to him. I did however, continue to see him.
He met my son ( I introduced him as a friend, but my son, being the smarty pants he is, asked if we were dating) and some of my family and friends. He has two kids, I didn't get to meet them because of some drama with his ex (so he told me). But I did meet quite a few of his siblings and some of his friends. This is the furthest I've ever gotten since I started dating. Lol.
Anyways, he's currently studying for a second degree, so at times he had his head down writing papers and studying for exams. Progressive man, check!
Now an issue (other than the faith thing) had sprung quite early on, but I overlooked it initially. But this issue arose  again a few weeks ago. I was eagerly awaiting his exams to be over so that I could bring this, and some other issues up for discussion. Here I was, waiting, waiting, patiently waiting. Then I realised the messages had dwindled over the past few weeks. I put it down to exams. Then the calls started to die out too.  It concerned me a bit, but again I put it down to exams.
The last time I spoke to him was a couple of Saturdays ago. He called me in the morning, but I was busy so I couldn't speak for long. I told him as much and said I would call him back later. I wasn't able to call him back until late in the evening. I called and called. No answer. I sent messages telling him I'm trying to reach him. No reply. The following day, after church I called again. No answer. Then I thought, hold on, he didn't even call me back from the missed calls from last night. Hmmm.
Sunday evening, I called again. No answer. Monday, still no call back and no response to my messages. Hmmm.
I called one more time, then I left him a sharp message and decided to leave it at that.
Tuesday. Nothing. Hmmm.
My friend at work was very concerned because she'd become accustomed to my phone constantly going off. And it had been silent for a couple of days, which had now become unusual for me. She asked what's up and I told her. She said something might have happened to him. Perhaps I should pay him a visit. So she got me worried. But in my heart I knew the dude had gone ghost.
Wednesday I called him repeatedly. No response. I checked his whatsapp to see when he was last online (for the thousandth time), he hadn't been online since Saturday evening. By now his exams had been over a week ago. My friend suggested I reach out to his sister on Facebook, just to be certain he was ok before I moved on. I entertained her and sent a message to his sister to ask if he was ok, that I couldn't reach  him, and I'd become worried.
Thursday evening, he sent me a voicemail. I studied his voice. He sounded fine, but like he was trying to sound unwell. Lol. He didn't really say anything except "we'll talk.". Then he sent me a whatsapp message saying he can't really talk right now, we'll talk when he's strong enough. Hmmm ok. I asked what happened to him. No response. He then sent me a text message and I quote "You don't have to be aggressive... I know you care, but you don't have a clue what am going tru ok.". Aggressive?! Because I called and messaged you asking if you're ok? Ok o.
That was my cue to stop all communication. I didn't respond to his text. And many days went by before he reached out to me again. When he called I just couldn't bring myself to answer his call. Besides, I was busy cooking dinner. Lol.
 I'm pretty sure the only reason he sent me a voicemail and those messages was because his sister had a word with him. Dude was locking me off, just like that. No argument, no conversation, nothing. Just like that. Ahhh well.
You win some, you lose some. On to the next.
Blog you again soon! (If I keep this up, I might regain my credibility as a blogger. Hehehe)


  1. Na wa o. Only God knows why he became like that. I will chuck it under good riddance. I am surprised you blogged sooner than I expected. Keep it up, lol.

    I was called a liar yesterday!

    1. Lol! Thanks jare.
      I really did wonder. But like you said, good riddance. He wasn't who God has for me, so I'll leave it at that.
      Thank you so much for sticking with me @ilola! I appreciate you! x

  2. Good riddance! I don't know why guys do that though. How about some honesty? Chivalry truly is dead

    1. You know! Disguting behaviour. I mean, it's not like it's by force. You don't want to carry on, have the conversation, tie things up nicely and keep it moving. Smh.
      Thank you so much for sticking with me Toinlicious! I appreciate you! x